Everything I ever needed to know about Christmas...

I love Christmastime!  Everyone that knows me knows that too.  I love everything about it.  I love the trees, the lights, the fresh fallen snow, the Christmas treats, the movies (especially the classic ones), the parties, the idea of Santa Claus, St. Nick, and even Peppermint Jingles (our elf on the shelf).  I love the pageants, the concerts.  I love Christmas Eve mass at St. Rose.  I really could go on and on.  Probably most reading this already know, but our wedding was even in December...and it was the most beautiful Christmas wedding ever.  Ok, so I may be a little biased.  : )  I feel silly admitting this, but it really wasn't until this year that I really, I mean really, understood the real meaning of Christmas.

So, we live in this fantastic old house.  And by fantastic I mean that we bought it and a whole slew of problems.  We were unaware of them (and apparently our home inspector was too).  Nice...I know.  The people that lived here prior to us were do it yourselfers that didn't know how to do it yourselfer if ya know what I mean.  Anyway, early in the summer we began a bathroom project that was really supposed to be just us pulling out our downstairs toilet, maybe a small area of sub-floor, cleaning up minimal water damage, and replacing those very few items.  Well, that project came to an abrupt hault basically the day it began when we realized that the toilet leak wasn't contained to an area just around  toilet, but that the water ran along an I-joist (not sure if that's correct construction lingo, but it is to me...so there), all the way to our laundry room (which is the next room over).  Not only that, but the water had been leaking for probably the entire eight years that we lived here because the prior owners literally did not put the wax ring down correctly.  Yes, to answer your question right now, I AM SERIOUS!  We were lucky we didn't fall through our bathroom floor.  It was that bad when we tore it up.  To make matters worse, they didn't install the proper flooring under our ceramic tiles so all of our grout and some tiles were cracking.  So basically, our bathroom was almost a total loss.  We kept our tub.  That's it.  Oh, and our towel bar.  I liked that too.  Lol!  Here's the cruddy thing though...our laundry room had ceramic tile too, and our laundry room connected to a mudroom that had ceramic tile too.  So guess what happened.  We had to rip it all out!  Everything in three rooms!  All gone.  Wanna know the best thing though???  We bought this fantastic new fridge about the same time we started our bathroom in June, and it leaked too.  No, this is not a joke!  The installers didn't install something called a flange (I think), and the water line to the fridge got pinched and it literally leaked water for a week before we knew it (because the water sprayed backwards into a closet behind our fridge).  I realized there was a problem when I stood on tile by that closet and water seeped out of the grout!  Really...I am serious.  It turns out that that water also ran along an I-joist all the way to the back of our house.  That meant that the only room left unaffected by our bathroom remodel was now taken out by our fridge leak.  So, out goes the carpet and all the insulation too.  We were left with an addition that was just about gutted!  Those four rooms, bathroom, laundry room, mudroom, and fireplace room (that's what we call it anyway) were an addition to our original old cozy home.  That's what I meant when I said addition in the sentence before.  Wow!  That was like the longest paragraph ever!

Well, we had to wait from June to November to get this good old construction project a goin' cause that was when our contractor was finally available.  It went fast though, I'm not gonna lie.  It wasn't completely awful living with only one bathroom.  Coulda been worse...I think. I have this thing though...my birthday is November 13 and I really really like to start decorating for Christmas that day.  We did get some Christmas stuff up that day, but I couldn't help but be disappointed.  Because half of our house was destroyed I couldn't put up as many trees as I wanted too.  I couldn't decorate our mantel because it was covered with a big plastic tarp.  I couldn't hang our stockings.  I only put up some of our outdoor lights because we didn't even have a nice exit to our back porch...that's covered with a plastic tarp too.  I couldn't have a Christmas party here because our space is limited.  I really just found myself disappointed because this project really ruined everything I loved about Christmas.  Isn't that the most ridiculous statement you've ever read?!?!?!

What is Christmas about anyway?  Certainly not what I made it out to be.  It's not about anything that I listed that I loved.  Not the cards, the music, the cookies (or Janice's fudge), the lights, the sparkling snow...non of it!  It is only about this little baby that was literally born in basically a hole in the side of a hillside.  That almost brings tears to my eyes to write that.  For so long I've found joy in things that are so unimportant.  Things that I almost obsess over every year, and non of it matters.  How did I, a girl that claims to be "in-Christ", miss that?  Miss where my focus was?  It's certainly easy to do with the way our society plays up the consumerism of Christmas isn't it?

I am thankful.  Thankful for this big old house and it's big old messes that put me in my place.  I am thankful for that baby that was born in a stable, placed in a manger that first CHRISTmas.  Thankful that He is my Savior...our Savior.  Thankful that I finally know that if it was all taken away...all of it...everything that I claimed to love...that it would still be Christmas because of Him.

But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you:  You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."  

Luke 2:10-12

It's always been about You.

Eleven ten p.m.  Not usually the most appealing time for a momma of four to be writing a new post, but hey, when inspiration hits you go with it!  Actually, it hit earlier but I had to finish the laundry, make dinner, clean up the mess, get the kiddos ready for bed...you know the drill.  Anyway, I wanted to share with you a sweet moment from my day that got my brain a thinkin', and hopefully your's too.

Today was one of my crazy cleaning days, and by crazy cleaning days I mean like pulling books out of bookshelves just to dust behind them.  (Yes, I know it's really silly of me, but it only happens a couple times a year...I promise.)  On my to-do list was to start weeding through old books that I had collected from my grandma's apartment when she went to the nursing home.  I have had several of her Bibles for years now, and I really felt like it was time to donate them since we already have several of our own versions.  I carefully paged through them just to be certain that I didn't miss anything that she might have had tucked away inside.  Some of them were completely empty, and some of them were full of little keepsakes.  It really amazed me what I found because, honestly, I thought I had already done this once before.  There were sweet little bookmarks, pictures, and even personal notes.  The notes were what touched my heart the most.  They really answered several questions that I had about my own faith journey.

For those of you that didn't know my grandma, let me tell you a little bit about her.  First, she was the sweetest woman I ever knew.  (I know everyone says that about their grandma, but really, she was.)  She always called me Joy Marie.  Most of the time when people address you with your first and middle name, it means you're in trouble!  Not with her.  When she used your full name it was like getting extra love...if that even makes any sense.  She loved me unconditionally.  Even if I messed up really really bad (and I did from time to time) she still hugged me with a great big bear hug and gave me a kiss.  Sometimes I can still feel her lips on my cheek.  My grandma had so much wisdom, but she was never pushy with it.  She knew God, but never never never tried to force her beliefs upon me.  She just always spoke the Truth so I really wanted to share her beliefs.  She was well equipped when it came to Bible knowledge.  She was always ready to answer my questions.  I find it funny that even today, three plus years after her passing, she's still helping to answer my questions.

Do you ever wonder what kind of "church" experience your grandparent's might have had growing up?  Well, I always do.  I wonder things like what hymns they sang, what prayers they offered up, did they just read the Bible, or did they apply it's teachings to what they were dealing with in their lives, was their church experience really different from that which we are experiencing now?  Today my eyes were opened to that past experience.  One of the Bibles that I found was dated 1949, another 1967.

I always wonder what my grandma would think if she were to come to church with me one Sunday.  Would the drums and the electric guitar distract her from worship, or would it help her to fully engage?  Would the hands being raised in worship and the tears streaming down faces be way over the top, or would it be a sign of offering to her?  Would the lack of "tradition" such as memorized prayers or weekly communion or a cross hung in the sanctuary, or the prelude or benediction, or advent wreath or Lenten services be a sign that the traditional church has crumbled away?

Today I found a little piece of paper that was very old and frail, and it read, "Religion is anything mechanical."  I wish there was a date on this paper, but there wasn't.  What a powerful little statement.  Anything mechanical, memorized, done repeatedly without even thinking, that's religion.  Then I found another piece of paper that read, "If a church's main focus isn't the cross then it's just a social gathering."  Believe it or not, I found paper after paper after paper with simple little sentences telling truth after truth after truth.  It almost took my breath away to read all of these.  I even found a note that my grandma had written to herself with tips for witnessing.  One of the lines said to be well equipped, meaning to have studied and memorized scripture.  Her Bibles were falling apart, written on, highlighted, underlined.  There were even napkins tucked away with notes on them.  Now that's how you study!

I feel like all of these findings gave me a concrete answer to my questions.  The modern church may look and sound different.  The people may even be dressed different, but Jesus doesn't care.  He loves us in 2013 just the same way He loved us in 1949 and 1967.  The Bible never changed.  God never changed.  The way to everlasting life never changed, and as long as the church is pointing to the cross as the answer (even if the cross isn't in the sanctuary), Jesus is there.  Plain. And. Simple.  Hey, for all I know my Grandma might be rocking out with us on the weekends, in her new body, in her permanent home, with her Lord and Savior!

One more thing I found tucked away...lyrics to Have Thine Own Way Lord (written in 1902)

Have Thine own way, Lord!  Have Thine own way!

Thou are the Potter, I am the clay.

Mold me and make me after Thy will.

While I am waiting, yielded and still.

And then my mind went straight to Fee's Glory To God Forever (written in 2009)

Take my life and let it be

All for You and for Your glory

Take my life and let it be Yours

Take my life and let it be

All for You and for Your glory

Take my life and let it be Yours

Written 107 years apart, but still asking God to do His will in our lives.  Pretty great, huh?  Wishing you all the most blessed Sunday whether you choose traditional worship or contemporary.  It's all about Jesus anyway...always has been.

Mender of hearts

It's been awhile!  Like four months awhile, but hey, my kiddos keep me busy so I rarely have time to sit down and type for any lengthy amount of time.  I guess today was just a day that was gifted to me for sharing stuff.  Random stuff that maybe to some may seem simple, but to this momma, profound.  My children amaze me every single day.  Sometimes with things I wish they wouldn't amaze me with!

Most of you reading this know our four year old, Noah.  If not, here's a pic of the silly little man.

This is Christmas Eve, and he's saying, "Mom, do you like my tie?"  : )

Noah has always been a busy little boy, but also a boy of few words.  He can talk fine, he just doesn't have as much to say as our other boys did at his age.  Noah has always been the cuddler, kisser, hugger, "I love you Mommy and Daddy", type of kid.  Let me tell you what, he is a deep thinker and his intuition is spot on.  

Last night we were reading a book and Caleb (our very free spirited child) pointed out that one of the characters in the book was fat!  Well, I don't want my kids pointing out every fat person in the world, so I politely told my kiddos that calling someone fat was hurtful and could break their heart.  Well, Caleb immediately threw himself into the corner of the couch and buried his head like an ostrich in the sand (do you get me here).  Did I mention he's mildly dramatic?  (Sarcasm added on mildly please)  He clearly was upset that I told him he could hurt someone's feelings by his choice of words, but Noah sat silent for awhile.  After a few minutes had passed Noah looked at me and said, "If your heart is broken, does Jesus give you a new one?"  Would you know that I always have something to say, but at that moment I really didn't know what to say.  

My husband made his way into the living room (probably wondering what all the commotion was with Caleb), and I shared with him what Noah had asked me.  Without even thinking, my husband said, "Jesus doesn't give you a new heart, but he can help fix your old one."  Even now at this very second I want to sit and marvel at his God given, absolutely right on response to that.  Jesus doesn't give us a new heart, but He is the mender of hearts if we so let Him be.

This whole thing got me thinking about broken hearts...broken people.  Aren't we all, at some point or another in our lives, a walking mess, a hurting person, an empty soul searching this world for something or someone that we can make ourselves feel whole with?  Deep down, we all know that nothing here on this earth will mend the heart or fill the void.  Did it really take the sweet question of a child to remind me that any bitterness or resentment that I hold deep within, that essentially breaks my heart, can just be dropped off at the cross, never to be picked up again, that there is only one mender of hearts, one Savior?  Well...I guess so.

He called a little child and had him stand among them.  And then he said:  "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.  Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."  Matthew 18:2-4

Praying today that I may be more humble, more childlike in my faith, that instead of working through hurts on my own, I will allow myself to leave them at the base of the cross.  Praying for friends searching the world for answers they're not gonna find.  Praying for those lost to be found.